Green Lawn

How “Green” is Your Lawn?

Do you have a lawn at home or at your office?

I’ve got a very small patch of lawn in my back garden, in between the fruits and veggies and flowers.

So when I received this amusing email about lawns, it made me look again at my tiny patch…..

(This was also published last month in Ecofootprintssa).

Here’s the story about a conversation between God and St. Francis:

God and Lawns

GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.

St.FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers ‘weeds’ and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass that they call lawns.

GOD: Grass lawns? But, they’re so boring! Lawns aren’t colourful. Lawns don’t attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. Lawns are sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all those lawns growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow them and keep them green. They begin each spring by fertilizing the lawn and poisoning any other plant that grows in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon their lawns grow a little, they cut them – sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut the lawn? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake up the grass and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize the lawn so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and then pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren’t going to believe this, Lord. When the lawn stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It’s a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You might want to sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They carry it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough! I don’t want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: ‘Dumb and Dumber’, Lord. It’s a story about….

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

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Photo Credit:  Microsoft