Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

book - top 5 regrets of the dying cover picWill You Have Regrets?

What do you think people regret most when they’re dying?

I’d always thought – not that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it – that people would regret things they hadn’t done.  Things they’d wanted to enjoy (e.g. a holiday), or in my case, work to help to protect the environment.

Apparently though, that’s only a small part of it.

After spending several years working in palliative care – caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives – Australian Bronnie Ware wrote a book on exactly this subject., called the Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

People gain a phenomenal clarity of vision at the end of their lives, according to Ware.  And those insights changed her own life.

The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying is about her journey, however, in this blog I want to focus on the part of book which discusses what people regret the most.  Because knowing this, can help us all to make the right choices now, while we still have time.

Of course, this is NOT a scientific study, it is simply one person’s observations.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all.   People looked back over their lives and saw how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.  Now, they knew they would die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

To quote Ware – and this is something I particularly appreciate – “Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it”.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

Dying Regret - no time with partnerThis was a wish primarily from men.

They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. They deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppress their feelings in order to keep peace with others.   Ware said that as a result, many of her patients settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.  She believed that many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Dying Regret - no friendsMany people had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let friendships slip over the years.  Often they didn’t truly realise the full benefits of friends until close to the end, when it was not always possible to track them down.  Ware added, “Everyone misses their friends when they are dying”.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Ware was initially surprised by how common this regret was.  She said, “Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits.  Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again”.

book - top 5 regrets of the dying cover picA Question for You

Did you notice that not one of the top 5 regrets of the dying included money?

Isn’t that interesting?

 

What’s your greatest regret so far? Do you identify with any (or some, or all) of these regrets? What will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

If you enjoyed this article, please Share, Like or Tweet it (buttons on the right) – thank you!

Related Books you might find interesting:

Life’s Greatest Lessons

The 5 Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die

 


Tags

biggest regrets, dying regrets, regrets of the dying


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